Exploring all aspects of near-death experiences (and related phenomena).
Please exuse my spelling!!
As I stated in my introduction, I had an NDE in early 2010. I had been experiencing kidney problems for about 2 years. I had a genetic disorder that kicked off in 2007 called IGA nephropathy. The doctors were certian that I would have to have a kidney transplant in the coming years, however there were prolonging the use of mine. The main reason for my kidney failure was an extreamely active immune system. My imune system was taking protiens and pushing them through my kidneys and cuasing them to fail. The doctors immediately made me go through a year of Chemo theropy and put me on immune supressent drugs. With my immune system so low, I contracted a severe case of CMV (Cito Megla Virus) and a few other nasty things. I had been feeling bad for roughly a month, running fevers at night of 103 to 105. I could barely function. It was a tuesday at work that I had an overwhelming feeling that I was about to dye. I jumped in my truck and drove to Pensacola's Baptist Hospital. I remember thinking, Im going to be found dead on the side of the road in my truck. I remember getting about half way there, and then waking up 9 days later at UAB medical center in Birmingham Alabama. My body had begun to bleed internally and my kidneys were completely gone. Pensacola could not handle the problem, so the life flighted me there. After about a week there and three surgeries later, they could not stop the bleeding. I remember being back in my room, just out of recovery. I dont know if I was uncounsios or not, but three vascular sergons were in my room and I heard them tell my wife and parents, do not leave, he wont be hear in the morning. I thought in my life that hearing somthing like that would be frightning. However, I never felt more calm and peaceful. I remember thinking, I cant believe that Im going to die in Birmingham, and that I sure wished it would be in Pensacola. I was always a believer in the other side, for people and animals. I had recently put down my 14 year old lab, and missed him dearly. The thought popped in my mind that well, If i go, at least I will get to see him shortly. While the docs were still in the room, I remeber hearing the word code.
The next thing I know, I was sitting on the end of the bed, wondering why everyone was in a panic. I suddenly felt wonderful. It was at that point that I realized they were working on me. That was the first time I ever saw my father cry, and it was from outside my body. As I sat there and watched, I had the sensation of oh, I remember this stuff. I wished I could explain to my family it ok, no one loses in the end. At this time another man was standing at the door to my room. At first I though it was another doctor, except he was whereing an orange colored coat. He was tall, very broad shoulders and well built. He was just standing there smiling and looking at me. No other person was aknowledging me but him. That is when I noticed the silver ring above his head. It looked like the finest piece of machined metal I had ever seen, and it was in the shape of a halo. I could not stop staring at it. I instantly knew that I loved this person dearly, and had know this person for eternity. The halo dissapeared, and the man kind of laughed very caringly. He spoke and said that he added it so that I would understand what was going on. The man did everything in a loving yet humarous way. We began to speak to one another and everything else in the room, began to fade away. I didnt really notice it leave, it was just not there anymore, however we were still in the hospital. I had an overwhelming feeling of gratefullnees and love. Can not even begin to describe that feeling. I told him, not really sure if we spoke normally or not, that I couldnt believe that he and the other side, remebered to come and get me in this little hospital room in Birmingham, and that I was so thankful. Again he began to caringly laugh, and said micheal, not person or thing in all the universus are ever forsaken. And I knew instantly what he meant, everything is truley accounted for, I mean everything. He then told me that he had a question for me. That question was did I want to stay here, or come home. It was totally up to me with no consequence either way. I had been through enough and was able to leave. I immediately said lets go, Im out of here. It was strange, I knew how much I loved my wife and kids, as well as the rest of the family, but I also knew that they would be ok.
He again asked me if I was sure. At that point I started seeing images of my 12 year old daughter and 8 year old son, and could feel how this was going to affect them, especially my son who I do everything with. The images and feelings just kept playing over and over. The final thing I saw was my wife and parents driving back to Pensacola without me. I was above the vehicle on I 65, I know the exact spot of the highway. The feeling inside the car was almost unbearable. At that point he inquired again. I told him I could not leave my kids and would stay.
He again, caryingly laughed and told me not to be in such a rush. The other side would always be there for eternity. And that he would always be right by my side. The last thing I got to say was what was the point of all this. Why did we do this thing called life in the physical. He stated simply to experience and the only thing that mattered was how we treated one another. It was simple as that. And with that, I was back in my body, hurting like hell again.
Im not sure who that man was anymore, all I know is that I loved him with everything I had, and he loved me the same. I believe it is like that with every soul on the other side. For months afterward, once I had recovered, I walked around with a euphoric high. I wanted to tell everyone about what happened. This I quickly learned was not the best thing to do. It was amazing the people that I thought would most love to hear it, thought i was halucinating and didnt want to hear about it. Including the pastor at my methodist church. Some that I thought would really think I was crazy are constantly asking me about it anytime I see them. This is pretty much the reason I searched this site out.
I know that what happened was real, more real than this reality for sure. The feeling eventually faded. When I went back to UAB for my transplant, I went back to that room to try to recapture it, but to no evail. What happened plays in my head every day. It is my first and last thought with countless rehashings during the day. I cant wait till the day I return, however I have a new appreciation for what we are doing here. My only advice is to experience and love. Try to make even what you think is a bad experience a good one.
Thank you all for listening.
Hi John, those are some really kind words you wrote and I really do appreciate them. Im also grateful that my experience meant somthing to you. This is a wonderful site and I have met some great people on here, of which you are deffenatley one. Lets all keep in touch.
Much love to you and yours my friend,