NHNE Near-Death Experience Network
Exploring all aspects of the near-death experience.
Anita Moorjani's Near-Death Experience (Includes Interview With NDERF) - Part 1 of 3
This three-part report begins with Anita Moorjani describing her near-death experience. This description appears on the NDERF website and in Jeffrey Long's book, "Evidence Of The Afterlife: The Science Of Near-Death Experiences". Long's groundbreaking book can be purchased here. A summary of Long's book can be read here. Anita's mind-tweaking interview appears on her website.
..............
Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3
..............
ANITA M'S NDE
Original Link
I had cancer (Hodgkin's Lymphoma), and on this morning, I could not move. My husband rushed me to hospital, where, after doing scans, they diagnosed me with grade 4B lymphoma (the highest grade). The senior oncologist looked at my report and told my husband that it was too late, and that my organs were now shutting down. I only had 36 hours to live. However, the oncologist said he would do whatever he could but prepared my husband that I would most likely not make it, as my organs were no longer functioning. They started me on a chemotherapy drip as well as oxygen, and then they started to take tests, particularly on my organ functions, so that they could determine what drugs to use.
I was drifting in and out of consciousness during this time, and I could feel my spirit actually leaving my body. I saw and heard the conversations between my husband and the doctors taking place outside my room, about 40 feet away down a hallway. I was later able to verify this conversation to my shocked husband. Then I actually "crossed over" to another dimension, where I was engulfed in a total feeling of love. I also experienced extreme clarity of why I had the cancer, why I had come into this life in the first place, what role everyone in my family played in my life in the grand scheme of things, and generally how life works. The clarity and understanding I obtained in this state is almost indescribable. Words seem to limit the experience -- I was at a place where I understood how much more there is than what we are able to conceive in our 3-dimensional world. I realized what a gift life was, and that I was surrounded by loving spiritual beings, who were always around me even when I did not know it.
The amount of love I felt was overwhelming, and from this perspective, I knew how powerful I am, and saw the amazing possibilities we as humans are capable of achieving during a physical life. I found out that my purpose now would be to live "heaven on earth" using this new understanding, and also to share this knowledge with other people. However I had the choice of whether to come back into life, or go towards death. I was made to understand that it was not my time, but I always had the choice, and if I chose death, I would not be experiencing a lot of the gifts that the rest of my life still held in store. One of the things I wanted to know was that if I chose life, would I have to come back to this sick body, because my body was very, very sick and the organs had stopped functioning. I was then made to understand that if I chose life, my body would heal very quickly. I would see a difference in not months or weeks, but days!
I was shown how illnesses start on an energetic level before they become physical. If I chose to go into life, the cancer would be gone from my energy, and my physical body would catch up very quickly. I then understood that when people have medical treatments for illnesses, it rids the illness only from their body but not from their energy so the illness returns. I realized if I went back, it would be with a very healthy energy. Then the physical body would catch up to the energetic conditions very quickly and permanently. I was given the understanding that this applies to anything, not only illnesses -- physical conditions, psychological conditions, etc. I was "shown" that everything going on in our lives was dependant on this energy around us, created by us. Nothing was solid -- we created our surroundings, our conditions, etc. depending where this "energy" was at. The clarity I received around how we get what we do was phenomenal! It's all about where we are energetically. I was made to feel that I was going to see "proof" of this first hand if I returned back to my body.
I know I was drifting in and out between the two worlds, but every time I drifted into the "other side", I was shown more and more scenes. There was one which showed how my life had touched all the people in it -- it was sort of like a tapestry and showed how I affected everyone's lives around me. There was another which showed my brother on a plane, having heard the news I was dying, coming to see me (this was verified to me as when I started to come round, my brother was there, having just got off a plane). I then saw a glimpse of my brother and me and somehow seemed to understand it was a previous life, where I was much older than him and was like a mother to him (in this life, he is older than me). I saw in that life I was very protective towards him. I suddenly became aware he was on the plane to come and see me, and felt "I can't do this to him -- can't let him come and see me dead". Then I also saw how my husband's purpose was linked to mine, and how we had decided to come and experience this life together. If I went, he would probably follow soon after.
I was made to understand that, as tests had been taken for my organ functions (and the results were not out yet), that if I chose life, the results would show that my organs were functioning normally. If I chose death, the results would show organ failure as the cause of death, due to cancer. I was able to change the outcome of the tests by my choice!
I made my choice, and as I started to wake up (in a very confused state, as I could not at that time tell which side of the veil I was on), the doctors came rushing into the room with big smiles on their faces saying to my family "Good news -- we got the results and her organs are functioning -- we can't believe it!! Her body really did seem like it had shut down!"
After that, I began to recover rapidly. The doctors had been waiting for me to become stable before doing a lymph node biopsy to track the type of cancer cells, and they could not even find a lymph node big enough to suggest cancer (upon entering the hospital my body was filled with swollen lymph nodes). They did a bone marrow biopsy, again to find the cancer activity so they could adjust the chemotherapy according to the disease, and there wasn't any in the bone marrow. The doctors were very confused, but put it down to me suddenly responding to the chemo. Because they themselves were unable to understand what was going on, they made me undergo test after test, all of which I passed with flying colors, and clearing every test empowered me even more! I had a full body scan, and because they could not find anything, they made the radiologist repeat it again!!!!
Because of my experience, I am now sharing with everyone I know that miracles are possible in your life every day. After what I have seen, I realize that absolutely anything is possible, and that we did not come here to suffer. Life is supposed to be great, and we are very, very loved. The way I look at life has changed dramatically, and I am so glad to have been given a second chance to experience "heaven on earth".
-------------
NDERF INTERVIEW WITH ANITA MOORJANI
anitamoorjani.com
From 2006
Original Link One
Original Link Two
Anita Moorjani was born in Singapore and then lived in Sri Lanka until she was 2 years old. An ethnic Sindhi woman from India, her family then moved to Hong Kong where she grew up speaking fluent Sindhi, Cantonese and English, as well as being conversant with a multitude of cultural idioms. She was educated in English schools in Hong Kong and later studied in England before returning to Hong Kong to take up a senior management position for a French fashion company where she traveled all over the world using her multi-cultural, multilingual background in a variety of business and social settings. In December 1995, she married her husband and soulmate, Danny, who loves her unconditionally (and still does, despite her becoming a NDE freak now).
In April 2002 she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and after nearly 4 years of battling the disease, she was taken to the intensive care unit of her local hospital in February 2006 where she was given less than 36 hours to live. Her remarkable NDE and seeming miraculous recovery from cancer has created enormous interest and commentary on an international scale.
...
NDERF: Hi Anita. It's nice to talk to you again. It's only been a few months since your NDE and recovery, so I was wondering how are you feeling these days? Has media and public interest in your experience had any effect on your ability to come and go as you please?
ANITA: Physically, I'm feeling really great, thanks for asking. I don't recall having this much energy at my disposal ever before. As for the media and public interest, that's been a lot of fun. It's not that people recognize me straight off the bat, you know. I mean, a lot of people have heard my story, but most don't know what I look like, because they've mostly either read about me on the internet, or heard about me on the radio. (I'm becoming a regular on Chinese radio!!)
It's only when I introduce myself that people say "ohhhhh, so you're the Anita that died!!"
Another fun aspect is that I am getting a lot of invitations to attend social as well as spiritual gatherings. What I love most is that people keep hugging me. When they meet me, they say "I was really moved by your experience. Can I have a hug?" And of course, I say "sure!" I just love that part!!
NDERF: Yes, and I can see you are becoming expert at giving cyberhugs on the forum. Now you can hug worldwide! What has been the most difficult part adjusting to 3 dimensional reality since returning from your experience?
ANITA: That's a good question. The most difficult part is not being able now to see this world in the same way as everyone else does. I don't see things the same way as most people, nor can I process information in the same way I used to. I can't. It feels like I have seen beyond the illusion of this physical world, and I can't go back to thinking the way I used to. Sometimes I feel misunderstood. One of my fears is of becoming lonely, should no one understand me.
NDERF: Yes, I can imagine there would be a sense of loneliness that could come with an experience that is difficult to put into language. Can you tell me more about how this way of thinking affects your physical reality?
ANITA: When I was in the NDE state, it felt like I had woken up to a different reality. It felt like I had awoken from the "illusion" of life, and from that perspective, it looked like my physical life was just a culmination of my thoughts and beliefs up to that point. It felt like the whole world was just a culmination of mass consciousness. That is, the culmination of everyone's thoughts and beliefs. It felt like nothing was actually real, but we made it real with our beliefs. I understood that even my cancer was not real, it was also part of the illusion, so if I went back to my body, I would not have the cancer any more.
And another thing is that, there was this incredible understanding of how we are all interconnected. And how what I felt within me affects my whole universe. It felt like the whole universe is within me. As far as I am concerned, if I am happy, the universe is happy. If I love myself, everyone else will love me. If I am at peace, the whole universe is peaceful. And so on.
Also, there is no such thing as time and space in that dimension. It felt like everything was happening simultaneously. I saw what could be interpreted as past lives, I saw what was happening currently (my brother on the plane, and conversations between my family members and doctors), and I also saw the future of this life pan out. But it was as if they were all happening at once, and I was living them all at once. It felt like, only after coming back, my mind has to process it as happening in linear time, but in that dimension, it didn't feel that way at all. And distance and solid walls did not stop me from seeing and hearing everything that pertained to me at that time.
So now, back into 3D life, it feels like even solid walls and distance only exist because we decide or believe them to exist.
NDERF: Wow, I can only imagine an experience like that would mess with your mind!! So can you tell me more about how the NDE has affected the way you think and process information now?
ANITA: Well, first of all, my view of the world has totally blown apart. Over these months, I have had doctors telling me, over and over, that what happened to me is completely unexplainable. Medically, it should not be possible. They can't figure out where the billions of cancer cells went in just a matter of days. Medically, every way they look at it, I should have died. My organs were shut down. Either the cancer should have killed me, the drugs should have killed me, or the billions of cancer cells trying to leave, flooding my shut down system, should have killed me.
In view of what physically happened to me, I am no longer able to see any physical disability in the same light anymore! Where, in my own mind, would I draw the line between what is "fixable" or "curable" and what is not? By what scale or logic would I draw these conclusions from? Certainly not from what is "medically" possible! I can't apply that to my life anymore. The word "impossible" has no meaning to me anymore. The boundaries of what is possible or not is very shady to me.
I look at everything in our reality, including things like illness and aging, so differently. I challenge anything that is considered "natural" or "normal". To me now, everything feels like human construct -- that is, just another product of personal and mass belief.
Having had the experience I have, it feels like nothing is real, but every single possibility exists.
I now live my life knowing that I can create my own reality based on these new truths that I have learned.
NDERF: That's a really powerful way to live. I want to go into what you say about creating your own reality, but before I do, just while on the topic of the physical body, it sounds as if you no longer see the challenges of illness in the same way -- in fact, it almost sounds like you feel "invincible". Can you elaborate more on that?
ANITA: OK, before my experience, one of my biggest fears in life was cancer, another fear was chemo (I watched 2 people die while on chemo), and also I had a myriad of other fears. It was almost as if my life was being "caged" in by my fears. My experience of life was getting smaller and smaller.
Now move forward to my NDE. This state caused a huge internal consciousness shift within me. Seeing through the illusion was a big part of it, feeling connected to the entire universe was another part, and becoming aware of being flooded in an all encompassing, loving, energy was also another factor. This was an energy of unconditional love -- an energy that does not discriminate or judge. This universal energy is there for us no matter who or what we are. It was in this very awake state that I made the decision to come back into life. It was one powerful decision to come back and experience LIFE in this body again. You see, as soon as the choice to live or die was presented to me, I KNEW that once I made the decision, NOTHING outside of myself could kill me. NOTHING. Just the fact that I was presented with the choice and that I had made the decision, made it real. And as soon as I made the decision, every single cell in my body responded to that decision, and I healed almost immediately.
The doctors continued to take tests, but could not find anything. I understood that everything that was being done after that - all the tests, biopsies, drugs, etc. etc. was being done to satisfy everyone around me, and although a lot of it was very, very painful, I KNEW that I would be fine. My higher self/soul/spirit/connection to all that is, whatever you want to call it, that part of me had decided to continue to live through this body, and nothing in this physical 3D world could affect that decision. It felt like any decision made from the real reality far outweighs anything in this "illusion".
This is that invincible feeling. The feeling that nothing outside of me can harm me.
NDERF: Do you think this feeling can be attained by others, or do you feel that it is something that can only be achieved either by an NDE or by a special few?
ANITA: I strongly believe it is something that can be attained by others. I certainly don't feel special, or chosen or anything like that, in any way. Perhaps one just needs to be at the right "place" psychologically in their physical lives for something like this to happen.
It can certainly look like this is just a random event that happened to me. But bear in mind that I had cancer for nearly 4 years. During those four years, I changed dramatically. Living with terminal cancer at a reasonably young age and watching yourself deteriorate changes you and your perspective on life. It can't not. I feel that those years "prepped" me for exactly the type of death experience that I had. I don't know if I would have been emotionally mature enough to handle such a shift if it happened sooner, like say, without all the emotional and psychological "clearing" that took place within me from living with the cancer for almost 4 years. I feel that I had reached a place in my life that "allowed" this shift to happen. I was already at a point in my life where I wasn't particularly attached to any way of thinking, and had also reached the stage of letting go of desiring any specific outcome. In my opinion, getting to this point was important for me.
The NDE gave me that last "push" that I needed, to see beyond the illusion. And once I saw that the body is not the real me, and that the cancer was also just an illusion, I was then able to see how loved I am, and I recognized my own magnificence, and once I made the decision to live, the physical body only reflected this "new found" state.
I'm sure there are people who are at exactly the right place internally, for such a shift to take place. And they don't have to have an NDE for this to happen. Perhaps all they need to do is to bring into their awareness of what is possible. And perhaps, just by the fact that something like this has happened to me, I can be the catalyst for such an awareness to be brought into their reality.
I believe that once people are willing to expand their minds to let in such occurrences into their own reality, it may even trigger off further inner work to allow for such a shift to happen within them. I don't believe everyone has to have to have something as drastic as an NDE to see such miracles occur. Perhaps just a willingness to let go of beliefs which may be holding them back.
From that state, where this life looked like an illusion, it looked like our strong attachment to certain beliefs is what holds the illusion in place. Perhaps a willingness to look at and let go of beliefs that may be holding us back could help us to move forward faster, as a mass consciousness.
..............
Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3
..............
..............
Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3
..............
ANITA M'S NDE
Original Link
I had cancer (Hodgkin's Lymphoma), and on this morning, I could not move. My husband rushed me to hospital, where, after doing scans, they diagnosed me with grade 4B lymphoma (the highest grade). The senior oncologist looked at my report and told my husband that it was too late, and that my organs were now shutting down. I only had 36 hours to live. However, the oncologist said he would do whatever he could but prepared my husband that I would most likely not make it, as my organs were no longer functioning. They started me on a chemotherapy drip as well as oxygen, and then they started to take tests, particularly on my organ functions, so that they could determine what drugs to use.
I was drifting in and out of consciousness during this time, and I could feel my spirit actually leaving my body. I saw and heard the conversations between my husband and the doctors taking place outside my room, about 40 feet away down a hallway. I was later able to verify this conversation to my shocked husband. Then I actually "crossed over" to another dimension, where I was engulfed in a total feeling of love. I also experienced extreme clarity of why I had the cancer, why I had come into this life in the first place, what role everyone in my family played in my life in the grand scheme of things, and generally how life works. The clarity and understanding I obtained in this state is almost indescribable. Words seem to limit the experience -- I was at a place where I understood how much more there is than what we are able to conceive in our 3-dimensional world. I realized what a gift life was, and that I was surrounded by loving spiritual beings, who were always around me even when I did not know it.
The amount of love I felt was overwhelming, and from this perspective, I knew how powerful I am, and saw the amazing possibilities we as humans are capable of achieving during a physical life. I found out that my purpose now would be to live "heaven on earth" using this new understanding, and also to share this knowledge with other people. However I had the choice of whether to come back into life, or go towards death. I was made to understand that it was not my time, but I always had the choice, and if I chose death, I would not be experiencing a lot of the gifts that the rest of my life still held in store. One of the things I wanted to know was that if I chose life, would I have to come back to this sick body, because my body was very, very sick and the organs had stopped functioning. I was then made to understand that if I chose life, my body would heal very quickly. I would see a difference in not months or weeks, but days!
I was shown how illnesses start on an energetic level before they become physical. If I chose to go into life, the cancer would be gone from my energy, and my physical body would catch up very quickly. I then understood that when people have medical treatments for illnesses, it rids the illness only from their body but not from their energy so the illness returns. I realized if I went back, it would be with a very healthy energy. Then the physical body would catch up to the energetic conditions very quickly and permanently. I was given the understanding that this applies to anything, not only illnesses -- physical conditions, psychological conditions, etc. I was "shown" that everything going on in our lives was dependant on this energy around us, created by us. Nothing was solid -- we created our surroundings, our conditions, etc. depending where this "energy" was at. The clarity I received around how we get what we do was phenomenal! It's all about where we are energetically. I was made to feel that I was going to see "proof" of this first hand if I returned back to my body.
I know I was drifting in and out between the two worlds, but every time I drifted into the "other side", I was shown more and more scenes. There was one which showed how my life had touched all the people in it -- it was sort of like a tapestry and showed how I affected everyone's lives around me. There was another which showed my brother on a plane, having heard the news I was dying, coming to see me (this was verified to me as when I started to come round, my brother was there, having just got off a plane). I then saw a glimpse of my brother and me and somehow seemed to understand it was a previous life, where I was much older than him and was like a mother to him (in this life, he is older than me). I saw in that life I was very protective towards him. I suddenly became aware he was on the plane to come and see me, and felt "I can't do this to him -- can't let him come and see me dead". Then I also saw how my husband's purpose was linked to mine, and how we had decided to come and experience this life together. If I went, he would probably follow soon after.
I was made to understand that, as tests had been taken for my organ functions (and the results were not out yet), that if I chose life, the results would show that my organs were functioning normally. If I chose death, the results would show organ failure as the cause of death, due to cancer. I was able to change the outcome of the tests by my choice!
I made my choice, and as I started to wake up (in a very confused state, as I could not at that time tell which side of the veil I was on), the doctors came rushing into the room with big smiles on their faces saying to my family "Good news -- we got the results and her organs are functioning -- we can't believe it!! Her body really did seem like it had shut down!"
After that, I began to recover rapidly. The doctors had been waiting for me to become stable before doing a lymph node biopsy to track the type of cancer cells, and they could not even find a lymph node big enough to suggest cancer (upon entering the hospital my body was filled with swollen lymph nodes). They did a bone marrow biopsy, again to find the cancer activity so they could adjust the chemotherapy according to the disease, and there wasn't any in the bone marrow. The doctors were very confused, but put it down to me suddenly responding to the chemo. Because they themselves were unable to understand what was going on, they made me undergo test after test, all of which I passed with flying colors, and clearing every test empowered me even more! I had a full body scan, and because they could not find anything, they made the radiologist repeat it again!!!!
Because of my experience, I am now sharing with everyone I know that miracles are possible in your life every day. After what I have seen, I realize that absolutely anything is possible, and that we did not come here to suffer. Life is supposed to be great, and we are very, very loved. The way I look at life has changed dramatically, and I am so glad to have been given a second chance to experience "heaven on earth".
-------------
NDERF INTERVIEW WITH ANITA MOORJANI
anitamoorjani.com
From 2006
Original Link One
Original Link Two
Anita Moorjani was born in Singapore and then lived in Sri Lanka until she was 2 years old. An ethnic Sindhi woman from India, her family then moved to Hong Kong where she grew up speaking fluent Sindhi, Cantonese and English, as well as being conversant with a multitude of cultural idioms. She was educated in English schools in Hong Kong and later studied in England before returning to Hong Kong to take up a senior management position for a French fashion company where she traveled all over the world using her multi-cultural, multilingual background in a variety of business and social settings. In December 1995, she married her husband and soulmate, Danny, who loves her unconditionally (and still does, despite her becoming a NDE freak now).
In April 2002 she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and after nearly 4 years of battling the disease, she was taken to the intensive care unit of her local hospital in February 2006 where she was given less than 36 hours to live. Her remarkable NDE and seeming miraculous recovery from cancer has created enormous interest and commentary on an international scale.
...
NDERF: Hi Anita. It's nice to talk to you again. It's only been a few months since your NDE and recovery, so I was wondering how are you feeling these days? Has media and public interest in your experience had any effect on your ability to come and go as you please?
ANITA: Physically, I'm feeling really great, thanks for asking. I don't recall having this much energy at my disposal ever before. As for the media and public interest, that's been a lot of fun. It's not that people recognize me straight off the bat, you know. I mean, a lot of people have heard my story, but most don't know what I look like, because they've mostly either read about me on the internet, or heard about me on the radio. (I'm becoming a regular on Chinese radio!!)
It's only when I introduce myself that people say "ohhhhh, so you're the Anita that died!!"
Another fun aspect is that I am getting a lot of invitations to attend social as well as spiritual gatherings. What I love most is that people keep hugging me. When they meet me, they say "I was really moved by your experience. Can I have a hug?" And of course, I say "sure!" I just love that part!!
NDERF: Yes, and I can see you are becoming expert at giving cyberhugs on the forum. Now you can hug worldwide! What has been the most difficult part adjusting to 3 dimensional reality since returning from your experience?
ANITA: That's a good question. The most difficult part is not being able now to see this world in the same way as everyone else does. I don't see things the same way as most people, nor can I process information in the same way I used to. I can't. It feels like I have seen beyond the illusion of this physical world, and I can't go back to thinking the way I used to. Sometimes I feel misunderstood. One of my fears is of becoming lonely, should no one understand me.
NDERF: Yes, I can imagine there would be a sense of loneliness that could come with an experience that is difficult to put into language. Can you tell me more about how this way of thinking affects your physical reality?
ANITA: When I was in the NDE state, it felt like I had woken up to a different reality. It felt like I had awoken from the "illusion" of life, and from that perspective, it looked like my physical life was just a culmination of my thoughts and beliefs up to that point. It felt like the whole world was just a culmination of mass consciousness. That is, the culmination of everyone's thoughts and beliefs. It felt like nothing was actually real, but we made it real with our beliefs. I understood that even my cancer was not real, it was also part of the illusion, so if I went back to my body, I would not have the cancer any more.
And another thing is that, there was this incredible understanding of how we are all interconnected. And how what I felt within me affects my whole universe. It felt like the whole universe is within me. As far as I am concerned, if I am happy, the universe is happy. If I love myself, everyone else will love me. If I am at peace, the whole universe is peaceful. And so on.
Also, there is no such thing as time and space in that dimension. It felt like everything was happening simultaneously. I saw what could be interpreted as past lives, I saw what was happening currently (my brother on the plane, and conversations between my family members and doctors), and I also saw the future of this life pan out. But it was as if they were all happening at once, and I was living them all at once. It felt like, only after coming back, my mind has to process it as happening in linear time, but in that dimension, it didn't feel that way at all. And distance and solid walls did not stop me from seeing and hearing everything that pertained to me at that time.
So now, back into 3D life, it feels like even solid walls and distance only exist because we decide or believe them to exist.
NDERF: Wow, I can only imagine an experience like that would mess with your mind!! So can you tell me more about how the NDE has affected the way you think and process information now?
ANITA: Well, first of all, my view of the world has totally blown apart. Over these months, I have had doctors telling me, over and over, that what happened to me is completely unexplainable. Medically, it should not be possible. They can't figure out where the billions of cancer cells went in just a matter of days. Medically, every way they look at it, I should have died. My organs were shut down. Either the cancer should have killed me, the drugs should have killed me, or the billions of cancer cells trying to leave, flooding my shut down system, should have killed me.
In view of what physically happened to me, I am no longer able to see any physical disability in the same light anymore! Where, in my own mind, would I draw the line between what is "fixable" or "curable" and what is not? By what scale or logic would I draw these conclusions from? Certainly not from what is "medically" possible! I can't apply that to my life anymore. The word "impossible" has no meaning to me anymore. The boundaries of what is possible or not is very shady to me.
I look at everything in our reality, including things like illness and aging, so differently. I challenge anything that is considered "natural" or "normal". To me now, everything feels like human construct -- that is, just another product of personal and mass belief.
Having had the experience I have, it feels like nothing is real, but every single possibility exists.
I now live my life knowing that I can create my own reality based on these new truths that I have learned.
NDERF: That's a really powerful way to live. I want to go into what you say about creating your own reality, but before I do, just while on the topic of the physical body, it sounds as if you no longer see the challenges of illness in the same way -- in fact, it almost sounds like you feel "invincible". Can you elaborate more on that?
ANITA: OK, before my experience, one of my biggest fears in life was cancer, another fear was chemo (I watched 2 people die while on chemo), and also I had a myriad of other fears. It was almost as if my life was being "caged" in by my fears. My experience of life was getting smaller and smaller.
Now move forward to my NDE. This state caused a huge internal consciousness shift within me. Seeing through the illusion was a big part of it, feeling connected to the entire universe was another part, and becoming aware of being flooded in an all encompassing, loving, energy was also another factor. This was an energy of unconditional love -- an energy that does not discriminate or judge. This universal energy is there for us no matter who or what we are. It was in this very awake state that I made the decision to come back into life. It was one powerful decision to come back and experience LIFE in this body again. You see, as soon as the choice to live or die was presented to me, I KNEW that once I made the decision, NOTHING outside of myself could kill me. NOTHING. Just the fact that I was presented with the choice and that I had made the decision, made it real. And as soon as I made the decision, every single cell in my body responded to that decision, and I healed almost immediately.
The doctors continued to take tests, but could not find anything. I understood that everything that was being done after that - all the tests, biopsies, drugs, etc. etc. was being done to satisfy everyone around me, and although a lot of it was very, very painful, I KNEW that I would be fine. My higher self/soul/spirit/connection to all that is, whatever you want to call it, that part of me had decided to continue to live through this body, and nothing in this physical 3D world could affect that decision. It felt like any decision made from the real reality far outweighs anything in this "illusion".
This is that invincible feeling. The feeling that nothing outside of me can harm me.
NDERF: Do you think this feeling can be attained by others, or do you feel that it is something that can only be achieved either by an NDE or by a special few?
ANITA: I strongly believe it is something that can be attained by others. I certainly don't feel special, or chosen or anything like that, in any way. Perhaps one just needs to be at the right "place" psychologically in their physical lives for something like this to happen.
It can certainly look like this is just a random event that happened to me. But bear in mind that I had cancer for nearly 4 years. During those four years, I changed dramatically. Living with terminal cancer at a reasonably young age and watching yourself deteriorate changes you and your perspective on life. It can't not. I feel that those years "prepped" me for exactly the type of death experience that I had. I don't know if I would have been emotionally mature enough to handle such a shift if it happened sooner, like say, without all the emotional and psychological "clearing" that took place within me from living with the cancer for almost 4 years. I feel that I had reached a place in my life that "allowed" this shift to happen. I was already at a point in my life where I wasn't particularly attached to any way of thinking, and had also reached the stage of letting go of desiring any specific outcome. In my opinion, getting to this point was important for me.
The NDE gave me that last "push" that I needed, to see beyond the illusion. And once I saw that the body is not the real me, and that the cancer was also just an illusion, I was then able to see how loved I am, and I recognized my own magnificence, and once I made the decision to live, the physical body only reflected this "new found" state.
I'm sure there are people who are at exactly the right place internally, for such a shift to take place. And they don't have to have an NDE for this to happen. Perhaps all they need to do is to bring into their awareness of what is possible. And perhaps, just by the fact that something like this has happened to me, I can be the catalyst for such an awareness to be brought into their reality.
I believe that once people are willing to expand their minds to let in such occurrences into their own reality, it may even trigger off further inner work to allow for such a shift to happen within them. I don't believe everyone has to have to have something as drastic as an NDE to see such miracles occur. Perhaps just a willingness to let go of beliefs which may be holding them back.
From that state, where this life looked like an illusion, it looked like our strong attachment to certain beliefs is what holds the illusion in place. Perhaps a willingness to look at and let go of beliefs that may be holding us back could help us to move forward faster, as a mass consciousness.
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Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3
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